In the life of a small group, there will usually be phases that the group travels through in developing a support system. We have looked at the building trust phase and the mutuality phase of this journey. Now let’s take a look at the affirmation phase of the small group life.

In the affirmation phase, group participants often begin to care-front each other with respect and sensitivity. They will support each other by pointing out the strengths of others and help with one another’s struggles. The apostle James tells us to “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16 NLT). Sharing with one another helps us get rid of guilt and shame and opens the door for God’s Spirit to fill us with His peace.

Any conflicts that surface in the small group should be viewed as a win-win versus a win-lose situation. There must be commitment to prayer throughout the group life because unresolved conflict can destroy a group. Group members should understand that commitment to each other means they should learn to disagree agreeably.

In the last couple of blog posts, we began a journey of looking into the dynamics of a small group. There are usually phases that a small group goes through during its life. Last time, we looked at building trust as the first step. Believing that someone else will be careful with the information that you are sharing is crucial to the group process. Trust can come quickly, but usually takes several sessions to build before most people are willing to open up and share.

The next step that the small group takes is mutuality. Mutuality is the way in which a group positively interacts with one another. Comradery is another way of expressing this phase of the small group. Group members become more and more familiar with one another and hopefully learn that they are not alone in their struggles. Mutuality expresses the idea that you begin to seek what is best for each other. There is encouragement and cheering one another on to become overcomers through God’s Word and God’s Spirit.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul tells us to “encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” The small group members begin to encourage one another. As bonding among the participants develops, the group begins to take form. Individuals feel freer to express their feelings concerning their personal needs or concerns. Group members begin to share the leadership in the group process by stepping up and giving verbal encouragement to each other.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “People will never care how much you know until they know how much you care”? This statement is so true. In the small group setting, facilitators must show people that they care by going out of their way to make each group member feel welcome and wanted. This will set the foundation for building trust.

During the initial phase, the group facilitator’s task is to develop an atmosphere of acceptance and love. In all of the ice-breaker exercises, the facilitator should share first so that the group members can feel more at ease. Group members should be encouraged to share within their own comfort level. Participants will need help in seeing each group session as a part of the whole group life. They should be encouraged to be patient in their expectations. Although the entire group life involves trust building, the first three to four sessions will focus on trust.

Building trust can prepare the soil for sharing and healing. Group participants will be building trust in the group and in the leaders. Since group members may not know what to expect, they will be checking the integrity of the group experience. They will usually initially discuss surface issues versus real needs. It is the facilitator’s responsibility to make sure that the group remains a safe place for everyone. We recommend that groups are closed after the third session. New people introduced after the third session will extend the amount of time that it will take to build trust.

Recently, a Living Free small group facilitator contacted us and was very upset. He began to vent his frustration by telling us that his group members were not opening up and sharing what was really going on inside of them. Immediately we asked this facilitator how many weeks the group had been meeting. With his answer, we knew expectations had been set very high. The group had only finished their first session! This facilitator wanted everyone in the group to open up a lot sooner than most people are comfortable with doing.

There is a process that takes place before individuals feel comfortable with sharing their inner struggles. Each group can very well be different in how much time it takes for people to share. There is no set predictor as to when people feel safe to share. It all depends on their comfort level. All we know is that when the Word of God is presented in a group environment, the Holy Spirit works through the Scripture and the life experience of other group members to bring openness and freedom.

Understanding the phases in group life is important for group facilitators. “Small groups go through stages as they begin, continue and end their life together. Just as an individual moves through stages in his life from infancy to old age, so groups, too, move through cycles” (Hestenes, 31). Although these phases may vary based on the personalities and experiences of the group members, certain phases are common with people who are dealing with life-controlling problems.

On July 23rd and 24th, 2012, we were honored to host 20 ministry leaders for Living Free Faculty Training. More than half of those attending are either currently involved in a community-based Living Free ministry model called Lifeline Connection or have interest in starting a Lifeline Connection ministry. There were ministries represented from Florida, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia. We are so excited to see the growth and interest of men and women being called by God to reach the addicted of their communities with the love of Christ.

When asked what was learned in the training, one individual said, “I learned there is a great need within the church to take care of hurting people before those people can truly help people outside of the church.” What a powerful statement. Hurt people can become more effective helpers when they are healthier themselves.

We had a great time of fellowship as everyone learned how to teach and schedule the Living Free seminar. All those who teach the Living Free DVD training to people in churches other than their home church are required to become certified Living Free faculty members. Many of the training attendees are in the process of becoming certified Living Free faculty.