Enabling: A Brief Introduction

Rescuing people from their responsibilities can cause them great harm.

Melody Beattie writes, "As counselor Scott Egleston says, we rescue anytime we take responsibility for another human being- for that person's thoughts, feelings, decisions, behaviors, growth, well being, problems, or destiny"(&*). To put it another way, "Enabling is any behavior which, however well intentioned, serves to protect dependents from the consequences of their use [of a substance or practice a behavior] (Krupnick & Krupnick, 22).

In their well-intentioned efforts to help, enablers may lie for their loved one, allow abusive behaviors, hide the truth from relatives and friends, defend their loved one when others point out problems, help them with legal difficulties, change the home environment to accommodate the person with the problem, and refuse to discuss the problem with anyone.

A person cannot continue in a life-controlling problem indefinitely unless there are enablers making it possible. Eventually, without enablers, people run out of options and hit bottom. As long as there are "helpers" enabling them, people will not find help.

Enabling is progressive. It begins by making small allowances for someone's irresponsible behavior and gradually progresses until our lives are dominated by trying to cure and control our loved one. This progression leads to what is known as codependency.

Taken from Living Free Coordinator's Guide, Jimmy Ray Lee and Dan Strickland, Turning Point, Chattanooga, TN, 1999, pp 81. Used by permission.

Today's Living Free News

  • 2013 Living Free Outcomes Results

    We are excited to announce the 2013 Living Free Outcomes Research Findings. Over the last three years, we have collected questionnaires from participants in several different ministries in many different states. This year we gathered the questionnaires from 5 different ministries who are reaching out to their communities through non-residential support group settings in 5 states. There were 181 people in 22 different groups represented.

    The data confirms the effectiveness of Living Free because of what God is doing through His Word, His Spirit and His people. The data reflects that no matter the location or facilitator, lives are being transformed and families restored by God through many local Living Free and Living Free Community ministries. We give God all the glory!

    Click here to see the 2013 results

    For the 2012 results, click here

    For the 2011 results, click here

     
  • Lead Pastor of Megachurch Endorses Living Free

    Click here to listen in on Lead Pastor John Lindell of James River Assembly in Ozark, Missouri sharing the reason why the Living Free discipleship program works.

    To hear the full message, go to www.jamesriver.org and click on the "Messages and Resources" menu and find the message titled "Faith and Freedom."

     
  • Testimony from Rwanda

    God does heal the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Read the following testimony we received today regarding today's Living Free Every Day devotion provided by Living Free ministries.

    "Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ, Thank you so much for the message of forgiveness. Jesus Christ recommend us to forgive if we want to be forgiven. For us Rwandans, we are experiencing forgiveness and now we are free from the bondage of unforgiveness. When you forgive, even physically, you are released. I am telling you this because I have forgiven those who killed my parents and relatives. But, ask to be led by the Holy Spirit who will enable you to forgive those who sin against you."

    Blessings,

    Jean de Dieu

    Rwanda- Central Africa

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  • May 2013 Message from Living Free President

    Please read an important message from Dan Strickland, President of Living Free by clicking here.  
  • Upcoming Training Opportunities

    Interested in learning more about Living Free Ministries and how God can use you to impact your community? Check out upcoming training opportunities by clicking here.