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Below is a list of books that can be helpful:
Be Transformed: New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy. Rock House Way Press, 2007. (Amazon)
Be Transformed reveals how you can overcome out-of-control behaviors and live a more fulfilling life. Through stories, personal testimony, and Scripture, Murphy demonstrates the transformation process that freed him from obesity, alcohol abuse, and more. Be Transformed is more than an inspiring and engaging read. It will show you how to transform your life.
Broken Children - Grown Up Pain by Paul Hegstrom, PhD. Beacon Hill Press, 2001. (Store)
Despair, emotional isolation, self-loathing, immaturity, abusive behavior... the damage that lingers for those who have been broken as children.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie. Hazelden Foundation, 1987. (Amazon)
Even if the memories are distant and dulled by time, past wounds continue to inflict pain into adulthood - often spilling over into the lives of those you love.
In Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain, Paul Hegstrom helps you recognize the scars of your childhood and shares practical and proven methods for facing and dealing with the pain of the past. Using scientific research, psychological studies, and biblical principles, Hegstrom points you to the place of healing and the freedom to pursue authentic relationships and build healthy emotional intimacy with others.
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like to many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent - and you may find yourself in this book. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking the stultifying hold on your life.
Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency - charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope and happiness.
Connecting :Healing for Ourselves and our Relationships by Dr. Larry Crabb. Thomas Nelson, 1997, 2005. (Store)
"We have made a terrible mistake! We have wrongly defined soul wounds as psychological disorders and delegated their treatment to trained specialists. Damaged psyches aren't the problem. The problem is disconnected souls. What we need is connection! What we need is a healing community!" - Larry Crabb
Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker with Yorkey. WaterBrook Press, 2000. (CBD)
Dr. Larry Crabb expands on his lifelong work in the field of psychotherapy to adopt a groundbreaking, but biblical approach to healing the deep wounds of the soul-an approach that centers around building intimate, healing mini-communities in our lives and churches.
Dr. Crabb envisions a day when communities of God's people - ordinary Christian whose lives connect as husband to wife, brother to sister, friend to friend - will accomplish most of the healing that we now depend on mental health professional to provide.
God has deposited within us the power to heal soul disease, and that power is released to do its work as we relate to each other in revolutionary new ways. In challenging, practical language, Dr. Crabb shows us how.
From the television to the internet, print media to videos, men are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It is impossible to avoid such temptations…but, thankfully, not impossible to rise above them.
False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction by Dr. Harry W. Schaumburg. NavPress, 1993. (Store)
Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought lives and roving eyes, Every Man's Battle shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity - perfect for men who have fallen in the past, those who want to remain strong today, and all who want to overcome temptation in the future.
We all long for true intimacy. Mandy people seek to fill that void by seeking sexual relationships - whether real or fantasized - that promise to provide relief, acceptance, and fulfillment for which they long. But it is false intimacy. And as Dr. Harry Schaumburg points out, "Sexual intimacy can't relieve their deep, unmet longings."
False Intimacy goes beyond behavioral symptoms and willpower-based solutions to provide biblical guideposts for the journey to restoration. It discusses:
Forgiving the Dead Man Walking by Debbie Morris and Greg Lewis. Zondervan Publishing House, 1998. (CBD)
- How to recognize sexually addictive behaviors
- Causes of sexual addiction
- How to deal with a sexually addicted spouse
- How to prevent sexual addiction in your children
- Sexual addiction in the church
- The healing and restoration process
- Restoring a marriage that has been ravaged by sexual misconduct
- Women and false intimacy
The victim of kidnapping, rape, torture, attempted murder… these words cannot convey the horrors that would continue to poison her life long after her captors had been brought to justice. In this stunning, true story, she details her personal struggle, and her years of walking an agonizing road back to wholeness.
Good News for the Chemically Dependent and those who Love Them by Jeff VanVonderen. Bethany House, 1991, 2004. (Store)
Forgiving the Dead Man Walking is a riveting story of courage, faith and forgiveness. In a world where all of us struggle sooner or later with forgiveness, Debbie's life is a testimony to the grace we long for, grace that triumphs over the darkest evil.
Millions of people are caught in the vortex of addiction to alcohol, prescription and non-prescription drugs. It leaves confusion, despair, and broken relationships in its wake. And despite what many want to believe, chemical dependency is a silent storm quietly raging within the church. Updated with information on the latest designer drugs, including crystal meth, this powerful resource will help guide individuals, families, and churches through their darkest times.
In this book, Jeff VanVonderen provides answers to the many questions facing those with addictions and those looking to help them, including:
Growing through Divorce by Jim Smoke. Harvest House Publishers, 1995. (Store)
- How and why people become dependent
- What steps must be taken to overcome the dependency
- Why total family wellness is essential to long-range recovery
- What friends, loved ones, and the church should - and shouldn't - do to help
Shock, adjustment, mourning, and rebuilding. Every person involved in a divorce goes through these stages. Drawing on years of counseling experience, Jim Smoke offers compassion, hope, and practical steps to guide you in your divorce recovery. You'll also discover pitfalls to avoid and how to set attainable growth goals, including:
- Looking at the divorce-recovery process as a healing experience
- Developing a new support system
- Giving yourself the time and permission to experience your emotions
- Using your experience to care for, share with, and support others
Joy and love can be yours again. Growing through Divorce shows you how to transform a difficult ending into a fresh beginning.
Hurt People Hurt People: Hope and Healing for Yourself and Your Relationships by Sandra D. Wilson, PhD. Discovery House Publishers, 2001. (Store)
Hurt people hurt people" is more than a clever phrase. Hurt people hurt others because they themselves have been hurt. And each one of us has been hurt to one degree or another. As that damage causes us to become defensive and self-protective, we may lash out at others. Hurting becomes a vicious cycle.
But God can help us break that cycle. He offers His healing and hope.
I'll Quit Tomorrow: A Practical Guide to Alcoholism Treatment by Vernon E. Johnson. Harper San Francisco, 1990. (CBD)
- Hope that we will see more clearly how our wounding experiences fit God's design for our lives.
- Hope that our scars will one day sing the praises of our living and loving Savior, even as we embrace the reality of choice, change and transformation.
- Hope that sees in the splinter fragment of broken lives the reflection and triumph of Jesus' empty tomb.
- Jesus Christ is the only all-sufficient healer for hurt people. And He graciously uses human instruments in His healing work. It is the prayer of the author that our loving Lord will use this book as part of your healing process.
Left unchecked, alcoholism is an always-fatal disease. Almost any doctor will admit that it is one of the most difficult illnesses to treat, and that positive results have previously not been very substantial. Now Dr. Johnson offers proof that alcoholism is a treatable disease. I'll Quit Tomorrow offers an approach that can arrest the progress of the disease and return the recovered alcoholic to a happier, more productive life.
In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart: Hope for the Hurting by Ruth Graham. Zondervan, 2004. (Store)
The broken heart in your pew may be the woman sitting next to you who struggles with breast cancer. It may be the middle-aged man at the far end whose alcoholism has torn his family apart. One thing is certain: Behind every face is a story, and the story is not always pleasant. But God knows how to write our stories with redemptive ink, and he can heal our broken hearts.Love is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships by Drs. Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier. Thomas Nelson, Nashville, Tennessee, 1989. (CBD)
In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart is a deeply personal, honest exploration of how the truths of the Bible play out in the realities of our circumstances. The book is also a revelation of how a loving, faithful God embraces us in our pain and transforms even our failures into sources of unforeseen blessing.
With simplicity and honesty, Ruth shares her journey through divorce, depression and shame; her heartrending parental struggles; and her faltering attempts to make wise choices in the wake of bad ones. She brings sharp new insight from the Word of God for all who fear that their actions are unforgivable, or that their brokenness has made them useless to God.
Break the Codependent Cycle
May I Have this Dance? A Journal through Pregnancy by Sheila Harper. Sheila Harper, Nashville Tennessee, 2005. (Store)
"I just keep telling myself that if I try harder, I'll be able to fix him."
"I spend all of my time and energy doing all the right things and trying please everyone. And yet, at the end of the day, I still feel guilty. Why?"
I vowed I'd never marry a man like Dad. But here I am, married to a man who is married to his job, just like Dad."
If you identify with any of these statements, you - like one in four Americans - may be codependent. "The concept of dependency and codependency," the authors write, "is no longer limited to alcohol; it takes in the rest of the [substance abuse] spectrum…and includes nearly any obsessive compulsion," including eating disorders, sex addiction and workaholism. These and other dependencies lock addicts and their co dependents in an endless cycle of addiction, denial resentment, and anger.
There is no joy in doing everything for another and calling it love. Even if you believe you are making intelligent choices - It's simpler to do it myself! He needs my help! I just want to keep the peace! If I don't do it, no one will! - the burden of codependency will cause untold misery in your life and in the lives of your family members.
Is codependency at the root of your unhappiness? Let these experienced doctors walk you through their ten proven stages to recovery from codependency, introducing a new dimension; the important stage of seeing God's unconditional love as the answer to your deepest emotional needs and your hunger for love.
Whether you are single or married, May I Have This Dance? will help you through your pregnancy. This book is written by a mother of two who traveled the journey single through her first pregnancy, and was happily married for her second pregnancy.
Mind over Meth: A True Story of Deliverance from Addictions by Debra Hedgcorth. Tate Publishing and Enterprises, 2007. (CBD)
This book is packed with insight and knowledge to help you make the journey through pregnancy an easier road to travel.
Each day you will hear from your unborn child, be asked a thought provoking question, have room to write your ideas and feelings, and then hear from someone who has gone before you to pave the way.
Meth is spreading across this nation and infecting out society like no other drug in its time. Families are caught in a cyclical curse that will destroy generation upon generation. Children are subjected to the chemical side effects as well as seeing their parents decompose before their very eyes. Mind Over Meth is the true story of one family's struggle to live in the dark world of meth, and their victory over its clutches. The message of freedom is articulated to speak to any person and any situation, not just those addicted to this horrific drug. We must get the right perspective and usher in a new generation of advocates to destroy the fear…with love.
SaveOne: A Guide to Emotional Healing after Abortion by Sheila Harper. Sheila Harper, Nashville, Tennessee, 2003. (Store)
SaveOne: A Guide to Emotional Healing After Abortion is for girls and women seeking deliverance from the pain and guilt of an abortion. This is a guide as well as a workbook, researched and written by a woman who herself had an abortion when she was a teenager. For seven years, author Sheila Harper carried with her the shame and humiliation of her abortion, only to find deliverance through God's abundant grace.
This book is a revealing look at post-abortion pain and guilt, emotions that have been left unchecked, out of control, for months, perhaps years. Let SaveOne help you pinpoint those debilitating emotions and guide you toward Gods grace and His renewal of your mind. Step by step, this study guide shows you how to rely on your Creator for the courage to deal with the past, while answering questions such as:
SaveOne : The Men's Study by Sheila Harper. Sheila Harper, Nashville Tennessee, 2004. (Store)
- Is there life after an abortion?
- Why am I an emotional wreck?
- Can I really overcome my guilt and be set free?
- Does God really care about me?
SaveOne: The Men's Study is for men seeking deliverance from the pain and guilt of an abortion experience. This is a guide as well as a workbook, researched and written by a woman who herself had an abortion when she was a teenager. For seven years, author Sheila Harper carried with her the shame and humiliation of her abortion, only to find deliverance through God's abundant grace.
This book is a revealing look at post-abortion pain and guilt. It will help you pinpoint the debilitating issues of forgiveness, anger, and wrong thoughts. SaveOne will guide you toward Gods grace and His renewal of your mind. Step by step, this study guide shows you how to rely on your Creator for the courage to deal with the past, while answering questions such as:
The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Dr. Dan B. Allender. Navpress, 1990, 1995. (CBD)
- Is there life after an abortion?
- Can I really overcome my guilt and be set free?
- Does God really care about me?
Almost everyone knows a victim of childhood sexual abuse; it has no religious or social boundaries. And sexual abuse is probably the most ''soul-deadening'' trauma there is. For adult victims, here is a way out of the rage, fear, and confusion. For their spouses, families, friends, and counselors, here are specific ways you can help the healing process. Dr. Allender's book reaches deep into the wounded heart of someone you know, exploring the secret lament of the soul damaged by sexual abuse - and laying hold of the hope buried there by the One whose unstained image we all bear.
TrueFaced: Trust God and Others with Who You Really Are by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol and John Lynch. NavPress, 2003. (Store)
In a sincere but misguided attempt to please God, many of us strive to "fix our sin." We soon discover that it doesn't "fix" very well or for very long. And so we try to hide it and pretend like it isn't there. But this only leads to more hiding, pretending, and despair - and nothing ever changes. We fear that God is almost never pleased. TrueFaced draws a clear distinction between two very different underlying motives: our determination to please God or to trust him. The resulting difference from these two starting points could not be more profound. One results in a striving that never feels it has done enough to please him. The other results in a trust that experiences his full pleasure. Our motives as followers of Christ will either keep us in unresolved sin and immaturity or free us into God's astonishing dream for our lives.
Understanding People: Why We Long for Relationship by Dr. Larry Crabb. Zondervan, 1987. (CBD)
Each of us fervently wants someone to see us exactly as we are, warts and all, and still accept us. Because no other human being can ever see all of us, a nagging doubt clouds even the best relationship: What would they think of me if they knew that…?
When God Doesn't Make Sense by Dr. James Dobson. Tyndale House Publishers, 1993. (CBD)
In this insightful book, Dr. Crabb seeks to show how psychological disorder is really the product of the sinful pursuit of life apart from God.
An immensely practical book for those who are struggling with trials and heartaches they can't understand. Why does disease, divorce, rejection, death, or sorrow seep into our lives when we are trying to serve the Lord? This book deals unflinchingly with life's most troubling question - the awesome "Why?" When God Doesn't Make Sense also helps believers avoid "the betrayal barrier," the sense that God is abandoning them amidst the storms of life.